Why I Became a Living Kidney Donor

Ten years ago on December 11th, 2009, I got to be a hero. I was not thinking about it that way, at the time, but it’s true. I had the most amazing opportunity ever – to volunteer for one singular act of donation that caused me no long-term harm and, literally saved my friend David’s life. I gave him my left kidney and if I had another third kidney I would do it again in a nanosecond.

David has Polycystic Kidney Disease, an inherited illness that causes the sufferer’s kidneys to turn into a big sack of mini-water-balloons. People with PKD eventually end up in kidney failure and in need of a transplant.

In mid-2009, David was at a point where his kidneys were just done; they were no longer working and he was extremely ill. He needed a transplant urgently, but the wait for a cadaver donor (a kidney for a person who has passed away) was very long.

David’s best option was to find a living donor. All available relatives were tested but no one passed the stringent criteria to become a donor. David was very reluctant to ask, but he eventually posted his need on a Yahoo group (remember those?) we both belonged to – our “Skokie Lunch Bunch” (so called because members all used to eat lunch together before our work site closed and we moved on to other jobs; we fortuitously stayed connected).

Two members of the group offered David a kidney. One was eliminated during the medical screens but I made it through. During the summer and early fall I had multiple clinic appointments to check my blood and urine. I had to have extraordinary renal function before the transplant team would consider letting me donate.

All of my tests were conveniently conducted in San Diego where I lived, even though David lived near Chicago and the transplant was to be conducted at Northwestern Hospital. His insurance paid for all of my tests – it was made very easy for me, every step of the way.

I also had to fill out questionnaires and undergo a psychological screen to make sure I was emotionally healthy enough to be a living donor. While some might say I am a bit crazy, Northwestern decided I was fit to donate.

People often ask me why I would do this. I have never had any answer beyond, “Because I could.” I never thought about not doing it. I was healthy, I knew I would be screened thoroughly, and I knew I could live a healthy life with one kidney. How could I not respond to David’s need? When making difficult decisions I ask myself, “will I have regrets if I do not do …?” In this case the answer was yes. If I did not step up, I would always wonder if I could have made a difference. And now I know I did make a difference.

I am almost 60 years old and of all the accomplishments in my life I look back at this singular event as one of the things I am most proud of doing. It ended up not being a very “horrible” experience at all. I’ll walk you through the actual transplant.

After clearing all the medical tests, transplant day was scheduled. It had to be rescheduled once, because David had some test results that needed follow-up, but a date was finally settled on. The transplant was scheduled for Friday. December 11th, also the first day of Hanukkah that year. As David is Jewish we considered this quite auspicious. I flew to Chicago on Wednesday for my final tests and interview. A winter storm was threatening travel and flights were getting cancelled and delayed, but my flight made it. We have a trail of fun emails chronicling the moment by moment saga of my journey – no texting back then, or not that I was doing anyway.

On transplant day we arrived at the hospital at the same time – very early in the morning. My oldest daughter was there as was David’s extended family. This is when I really felt the magnitude of my gift to David’s family. His two sons, wife, mother and others were there. I became overwhelmed with understanding that a mother was going to now see her son live, a wife would get to grow old with her husband and two sons would get to spend more time with their father. I was able to give this gift and I just kept thinking, “How cool is this?”

Those feelings kept my fear at bay. I was never afraid. I had undergone surgeries before (appendix, C-sections) so I knew there would be some pain, but I also knew it would be temporary. At that time I remember asking David only one thing- to make good use of my gift. (It was a bonus that he voted for the same candidates I did and would now keep voting for years to come).

What really matters is that David has lived a healthy life since receiving my gift. He held true to my request and has made good use of my kidney. He retired from his corporate job and became the Chief Scientific Officer of the Polycystic Kidney Disease Association, a position he held until just recently. While there is still no cure there has been progress and at least one experimental treatment is in clinical trials.

David has had the opportunity to see his eldest son marry, and his youngest son receive his MSW. Susan and David have travelled the world, only this summer checking off a bucket list trip to Rwanda to go on a Mountain Gorilla trek. David has spent the last decade living a full life and loving his family – and I get to say that I made that happen. I was his hero and it is humbling and gratifying to know I made that difference.

How can you become a living donor?